Culture

Bitches Get Stitches

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December 27th, 2012

Tootzypop Classics: We’re saying goodbye to 2012 and ushering in 2013 with a celebration of some of the year’s most read posts. This post originally ran for an Oxfam campaign in support of International Women’s Day on March 8, 2012. We’ll be back with new, original posts on Monday, January 7. Enjoy!

On a mall crawl for an irreverent birthday present, I found myself in what used to be the king of gag gift retailers, Spencer’s Gifts. In college I remember Spencer’s as a fun and slightly subversive source for kitsch and laughs. So I was a little unnerved to be greeted with a button announcing, ‘I’ve Got a Boner.’ While I briefly considered the entertaining possibilities of sporting such a mantra myself, I then sent my condolences to the poor sap who a) needs to announce it and b) thinks that announcing might take care of the… um… situation.

I moved on in search of more highbrow humor, a message more Jon Stewart and less John Belushi. Instead, I got an enlightening glimpse at how far women’s role in the bedroom has come. (Hint: It isn’t ‘a long way, baby.’) After pondering ‘I came here to drink and fuck bitches and I’m almost done drinking,’ I realized the reason I was so appalled wasn’t because I have anything against wasted, anonymous sex. It’s because there is an inherent difference between edible underwear and a shot glass proclaiming, ‘Enjoy Vagina.’ The former is something you enjoy with a woman. The latter, a man’s reward for himself — or worse, something he does to someone else. At its best, sex for this crowd involves getting a woman to offer up a body part or two. At worst, the male/female dynamic is keenly expressed by the brass knuckles bearing the feel-good slogan, ‘Bitches Get Stitches.’ When did partying and getting laid become so violent and power driven? And why are women joining the party decked out in tees coquettishly asking, ‘Doesn’t this shirt make my tits look fabulous?’ Specialtyretail.net calls Spencer’s a place that will “leave you awe-struck and happy.” Count me in for the former.

Got something to say that’s not about your tits? Take a cue from the documentary Miss Representation and write your own story (or T-shirt, film, or blog). Start by joining Oxfam America in celebrating International Women’s Day (IWD), and send a message via e-card to a woman whose voice you find inspiring. You can also give a personalized online IWD award to a woman who helps the cause. It’s easy: Download this graphic, type in her name, your name, and the date, and save as a pdf or jpg to publish to a blog or online.

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  1. Thanks so much for providing our tools as a way to honor women this International Women’s Day!

  2. Alissa says:

    I remember going into Spencers and enjoying myself, not seeing crap like that all over! I really didn’t even know the chain was still around. I would be embarrassed to see slogans like that, and as a woman it is awful. Why some girls think it is cute and fun is beyond me. You can be sexy, even slutty sexy, but distasteful is gross. And when you walk into a place like that with your daughter, what kind of message is that sending? Guess we should be glad the crap is made in China, they don;t have to understand what is written on it!

  3. Mckenna says:

    I seriously am offended by the brass knuckles. That’s terrible. We should start a letter-writing campaign to them!

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  5. [...] a range of outlets, including Mashable, Socialbrite, Mom Bloggers for Social Good, Beth’s Blog, Tootzypop (I loved this one!) and Spin Sucks. This was a significant increase over the 2011 online coverage [...]

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