We got the phone call from our friend Rob to, “Just get the hell up and turn on the TV.” He was so weirdly insistent that Adam and I did what we were told. We watched in horror with Rob on the line as the towers collapsed… and we both reached out and put protective arms around my very pregnant belly. In our ten years of marriage there were some pretty low lows, but I never felt so close to my husband as I did that morning, and to our friend Rob as well. Rob is one of those friends that you never have to ask twice for a favor — it’s already done. He made the food for our wedding, helped us move into our house; we even hung out with him on our honeymoon! He also brought me sushi mere hours after giving birth to both my children, because he knew I was craving it so badly after nine months without it. He let Adam stay in his spare room for a year after he left me, and even then it never felt like Rob had chosen sides. He was just Rob helping out. We were still both invited to his annual BBQ and chili cook-offs after our divorce. Though awkward, both of us showed up — you have to taste his slow-roasted turkey to really understand. So as I reflect ten years later on that terrible day and how much has changed for the world, I can’t help but reflect on what I have gained and lost in those years too. One constant has been a handful of friends, and if my ex and I can agree on only one thing it would be the unique and special friendship we both still have with Rob.
Try not to let the anniversary of the September 11th attacks get you too sucked in, there is so much darkness in the world already. Think of a positive experience you can reach for when your memories return to those all too familiar and nightmarish images of that fateful day.
Tags: divorce, forty, forty-plus, friendship, marriage, middle aged women, over forty, pregnant women over forty, women, women over 40, women over 50, women over forty, women's health