As a woman uninterested in having kids, I’m in the minority — especially at 41, when the door is rapidly closing on my chance to breed. But I’ll come clean and admit it’s getting a little lonely out here on the fringe. Many of my hardcore feminista pals who swore motherhood would be a yoke around their neck quickly changed their tune once they fell in love and turned 35.
So I admit it. I’m jealous. But not of motherhood.
I’m jealous of the BABY! Now the little kid gets all the attention.
The same flood of thoughts always hits me: ‘Who’s going to see Prometheus with me? I can’t check out that new wine bar on my own. Shoot… I had the WORST day today… but I can’t call because the baby might be sleeping.’
If I’m lucky enough to ever see my friend again, our conversations about men, work, Burning Man, and all things existential will give way to pooping habits and “my 35.6 month old is in the 95% percentile of this or that.” No more dinners at the latest trendy joint serving the latest white wine reduction whatever. Now we’ll be going to Kids’ Night at T.G.I. Fridays (silverware and pants optional).
All of the above, of course, is highly irrational. A piece of advice for the non-mothers: Now is time to demonstrate what true friends we are. Your pal may not have much time for you, especially these first few months, but she needs you more than ever. She might not realize it until she’s changed the 500th diaper. She’ll call when we least expect it because she’s dying to have a conversation with multi-syllabic words. Or she might want to do a sleepover at your place so she can… sleep.
In other words, don’t be such a BIG BABY.
Tags: babies, friends, louis ck, new parents
For a good laugh, check out what Louis C.K. has to say about being a parent. Now we know why dads spend so much time in the bathroom!