Stay In Touch

January 1st, 2013

Tootzypop Classics: We’re saying goodbye to 2012 and ushering in 2013 with a celebration of some of the year’s most read posts. This post originally ran on June 20, 2012. We’ll be back with new, original posts on Monday, January 7. Enjoy!

When Kate sent a link to her review of NYC chocolatiers, I emailed, “What’s new with you and Jerry?” “I am so sorry,” she wrote, “that you don’t know that I lost Jerry a year ago.”

Kate was my first boss in New York, more than ten years my senior, Jerry that to her. They were the quintessential New York Nick and Nora, she a former actress, he an old-school newspaper man-cum Senior Editor at Forbes. Jerry had a larger-than-life personality and a photographic memory. He was an insanely charismatic human. They invited me to their upstate retreat, or into their classics-only book club. (For years Jerry harangued us – Jerry could harangue! — with his screenplay idea for Heathcliff In America.) In 1999 I moved to LA. And as time goes… so does a certain closeness.


Two years ago my dad visited, and I took the phone when he dialed his old pal Dino. I hadn’t seen Dino and his wife Marleen, once like family to me, since the ‘80s. Marleen died last year of a rare brain disease. I wrote, remembering enchanting Marleen. Dino called me, standing at his mailbox in the Ohio snow with tears in his voice.


Last year my friend Adam’s dad died. Bob and Judith made a big impression on me when I spent a college weekend at their Delaware home. Judith was an aspiring writer, and when Adam and I became East Village roommates she’d visit. I hadn’t spoken to Judith in years when Bob passed, so I sent a card. She mailed me a story she had written long ago based on a subway conversation between a middle aged woman and a young woman just starting out – me. It almost hurt when the ghost of my young self passed through me: I miss that girl. I cried at the passing of Bob, and my acquaintance with Judith, and the passage of time.

Keep in touch — why don’t we?! When we’re young we think everyone will always be there, or that they’re somehow not central to our plans. Then, as we get older, life gets busy, our circles grow larger, and it becomes unrealistic to think we can keep in touch with everyone. But take a minute to think about people you love with whom you’ve let communication fizzle. You might want to re-energize an old friendship…but it’s also rewarding to just tell someone you’re thinking about them.



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Our Friends Say
  1. Kate McLeod says:

    Marcia, A coincidence? maybe, maybe not. Thank you for sharing this. I have shared it on my Facebook page. Ah, yes, Heathcliff in America. Someone actually wrote it! He was right. XOXO, Kate

  2. McKenna Rowe says:

    beautiful stories and a reminder to appreciate and cherish the unique, beautiful friends we have of all ages and walks of life!

  3. Tracy says:

    I worked with Jerry at forbes. Hadn’t heard he passed away. Sad.

  4. Annie Waring Faggard says:

    Marcia, what a lovely piece! I’m one of those people who goes to great lengths to stay in touch with folks who have been special to me. I love the reference to my parents. I miss my dad, but I know he’d be proud to be mentioned here! Hope all is well!

    Ann (Waring) Faggard (Adam’s sister).

    • Marcia says:

      Annie, so lovely to hear from you! I wax and wane at making the effort I should to be in touch, probably depending on how busy I am in life. But I’d really like to try and be better.

  5. Judith Waring says:

    Thank you for this Marcia. I had wanted to send you that piece for years and years but what with moving 3 times and how bad I am at filing things, it disappeared. Maybe there was a reason to wait…… Come to Baltimore, but not in the summer. It’s 99 here today.

    • Marcia says:

      i think so, Judith (on the reason to wait!). It feels like cheating to be answering you here. Let’s be in touch!


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