I knew my corpse could be kept on ice for resurrection by some wack-ball pseudo-science. I did not know my rotator could be given the cold shoulder by my own body while it was alive and well and living next to my torso. Welcome to middle age.
Who ever heard of a frozen shoulder? Let’s see, my dentist, her assistant, Mom, my boss, a co-worker, and Teri Hatcher. Apparently one in four people over the age of 35 are so blessed, most of them menopausal women over 40. The Japanese call it “fifties shoulder.” I was surprised to find George Michael on www.frozenshoulder.com. Apparently his shoulder let him down too — so much for “Freedom.”
This is not supposed to be happening. I eat organic, spend a gajillion dollars a month on food-based vitamin supplements, I exercise every day. I feel good, look younger than I am, I’d like to think I’m kind of a poster girl for age as a state of mind. But one day in March something fell out of the kitchen cabinet and as I jerked to react my bicep tendon sent an arrow straight to my pain receptors. “Weird,” I shrugged.
Soon an annoying intermittent jab in my left arm became an alarming 24/7 stab, accompanied by such limited painful range that I can barely douse my armpits with deodorant, and I sure as hell can’t change a light bulb or reach behind to touch my back. Doc says if I went to a desert island I would recover on my own… in 1 ½ to three years! Meanwhile, back on the mainland, a cortisone shot, the electrical stimulus machine I’m wearing right now, and pricey and time-sucking twice weekly physical therapy might cure me in a year or so.
Shift your shoulders down and toward the back of your body so that your shoulder blades come together: Apparently that is the healthiest stance for your shoulders. Bad posture is a suspected cause of adhesive capsulitis, aka frozen shoulder. Other risk factors are diabetes, injury, too much exercise, too little exercise, and just plain being alive.
Tags: adhesive capsulitis, forty, forty-plus, frozen shoulder, George Michael, middle aged women, over forty, Teri Hatcher, women, women over 40, women over 50, women over forty