I’m Schwitzing!

June 13th, 2012

I thought I had nothing more to say about hot flashes; I was following that old chestnut of, “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say it at all.”  It turns out they were talking about people, not hot flashes. So I’m free to blather on a little more!

I’m plagued by these episodes about ten times a day, and awakened by no less than five a night! I have tried pills, potions, and creams, and now I have resorted to denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. (Must I?) Here’s what rolls through my brain on any given day: Denial… ”Wow, is it hot in here or what?! Why don’t they fix this air conditioner!” or “Phew! I must be burning up the calories, my face is sweating like crazy!” Anger… ”What the hell! I just had ‘sweaty face’ like an hour ago!” “It’s not fair! Why me?! Some women don’t even get these things!”

Bargaining… ”I’ll be good! I won’t stress out; I’ll take black cohosh and maca everyday, I’ll eat more soy!” Depression… ”I’ll just sit here in my car with the air on full blast for the next ten years, don’t mind me.” “This makes me more tired than actual sweating. I think I’ll stick my head in the freezer again.”

My latest (most consistent?) tactic is to laugh about them. I carry around a fancy Japanese fan that I whip out if I am not near an air vent or frozen food aisle. I’ll usually exclaim in a loud Southern accent, “The vapors! Oh lordy, the vapors, do tell!” Other times I use my embroidered hanky and dab politely at my sweaty upper lip and say,”Don’t mind me, I’m just havin’ a little ole lady hot flash!”

See, I’m on my way to Acceptance…

Make nice with the things you can’t change. Laugh at them, have fun, look on the bright side, because the alternative isn’t any better. Also, never never having a visit from that damned “Aunt Flo” ever again is actually pretty nice.



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Our Friends Say
  1. Lis Peery says:

    I feel your pain, Tina! Black cohosh seems to be working great for me, but mostly I’m taking the “joking about it helps!” approach. Are there really women who don’t get hot flashes? I thought they were inevitable, like the sun coming up.

  2. Liz Scherer says:

    Schwitzing and mood swinging and weight gain, oh my. I have spent four years researching and writing on these issues. I don’t believe in pimping blogs on blogs but you may want to check out


    • Marcia says:

      Liz, is really cool. It should appeal to our readers, since it’s smart and intellectual but has some sass too. Thanks for introducing us.

  3. black cohosh says:

    In menopause i find relive and rest after using menopause and find that herbs are effective in this problem. Keep it up


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