Old Lady Moments

July 25th, 2012

I recently had an “old lady fall.” I call it that because when I fell, those around me reacted like one would when an old lady falls. I swear they were checking for a broken hip, but all I got was a scrape on my arm and another memorable moment in my march toward old ladyhood.

My first was at an Oingo Boingo concert.

The kid next to me accidentally elbowed me in the face. (Seriously, if you went to any Boingo concert, getting elbowed was a common occurrence.) But this young kid looked at me and profusely apologized. Of course, I read his meaning as, “Oh my god, I hurt the old lady.” I was in my late-20s at the time.

The second was when I was in my mid-30s and I escorted Blink 182 around San Francisco as a publicist.

We were all in a van and some girls jumped in to ride around with us. I didn’t care as I just needed to get them to the gig on time. But one of the girls nodded toward me and asked one of the guys, “Is it okay with her?” Of course, I heard, “Is it okay with the old lady?”

Later that year, I found out I was pregnant. My OB’s office gave me a referral for an amniocentesis because of my “advanced maternal age.”

Advanced Maternal Age = Old Lady

Now, I have fallen, but I did get up.  And I realize that, as I age, these old lady moments will become more frequent. Looking at the big picture, I want to have many more. I just want to be an actual old lady when they happen.

If you fall, pick yourself up. Put on some Oingo Boingo and dance around — if you do it by yourself,  you won’t get elbowed in the face. Being an old lady is just a state of mind… until it’s not.




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Our Friends Say
  1. jenny says:

    I just went to a concert and — true to old lady form — was in my assigned seat enjoying the show, while some 20-something who probably had nosebleed tix was crowding into my space. I firmly held my ground, yet during intermission, the guys (also 20-something) behind us said “you ladies shouldn’t let those guys push you around like that.” Kind of nice he was getting all chivalrous on our behalf, but seriously, it was definitely a case of “respecting your elders” and in no way an excuse to talk to me! Perhaps it was the intermission phone call telling my 6 year old I’d be home soon?

  2. Marcia says:

    Our reader Helen sent us this interesting information via email:

    Even though I’m 79, I read your daily “pops.” As I’ve aged, I fall–a lot. Still haven’t broken anything yet, but sometimes get pretty “messed up.” Falling as one ages results from changes in the brain. As we age, the center that controls balance (just like memory!) wears down. I am now working with a Physical Therapist who is teaching me to retrain my brain by doing a series of easy exercises. If this begins to happen to you earlier in your life than later, do some brain training now! Falling is a serious threat and often leads to unforeseen more serious consequences that seem to have nothing to do with the fall or subsequent operation, if needed. I’ve actually known some (older) people who never really recovered from the fall and went steadily downhill, never to recover their earlier strength.


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