I recently had an “old lady fall.” I call it that because when I fell, those around me reacted like one would when an old lady falls. I swear they were checking for a broken hip, but all I got was a scrape on my arm and another memorable moment in my march toward old ladyhood.
My first was at an Oingo Boingo concert.
The kid next to me accidentally elbowed me in the face. (Seriously, if you went to any Boingo concert, getting elbowed was a common occurrence.) But this young kid looked at me and profusely apologized. Of course, I read his meaning as, “Oh my god, I hurt the old lady.” I was in my late-20s at the time.
The second was when I was in my mid-30s and I escorted Blink 182 around San Francisco as a publicist.
We were all in a van and some girls jumped in to ride around with us. I didn’t care as I just needed to get them to the gig on time. But one of the girls nodded toward me and asked one of the guys, “Is it okay with her?” Of course, I heard, “Is it okay with the old lady?”
Later that year, I found out I was pregnant. My OB’s office gave me a referral for an amniocentesis because of my “advanced maternal age.”
Advanced Maternal Age = Old Lady
Now, I have fallen, but I did get up. And I realize that, as I age, these old lady moments will become more frequent. Looking at the big picture, I want to have many more. I just want to be an actual old lady when they happen.
If you fall, pick yourself up. Put on some Oingo Boingo and dance around — if you do it by yourself, you won’t get elbowed in the face. Being an old lady is just a state of mind… until it’s not.
Tags: aging, Blink 182, Oingo Boingo, Old Lady