Most 40+ women around me are in a “life regret” state of mind. For my friends (and myself) this is the decade of looking back, with a pessimistic outlook on the future. We seem to be in this collective mindset of negative reflection. And it’s dragging me down!
Our Gen X youthful independence allowed us to live large and do what we pleased, since we had absolute freedom with the responsibility for only ourselves.
And then we hit 40. All of a sudden there are no more exciting life firsts. So we sit around analyzing every detail of our past and how its impact has affected our present and future.
The most monumental regret many of us have is that we are still single. Why didn’t we put the same energy we put into our freedom into finding marriage? Well, because we really didn’t want to. The truth is we were thinking we were forever young… or we went off and had kids on our own… or we wasted time with unavailable men… or we threw all our energy into our careers. Whatever the reason, marriage was viewed as a compromise to make later. It wasn’t priority number one.
Rather than wallowing in our pasts, we must change our energy to a positive outlook. Daydream your future like you did when you were young.
I know the statistics are unfavorable for Gen X women to marry, but I am optimistic I will find a partner. I’m not ready to be a neurotic, bitter, middle aged woman; nor am I accepting that there is no more adventure to be had! My life of “firsts” will continue, and I know that on that path I will discover the partner that will also be pursuing new firsts — for he will have met me.
Next time those late nights of regret hit, change the energy. Daydream of what your future will be like. Dream big!
Tags: forty, Gen X, middle aged women, single women, women over 40