Size Matters

April 4th, 2012

At some point in past relationships, the guy has inevitably popped the question. No, not THAT question. I’m talking about the tired and inane, “Does size matter?” The younger me probably came up with a suitably soothing answer, or perhaps fell back on the quip du jour: “It’s not the size of the wave but the motion of the ocean.” But what I’ve realized is, it DOES matter! Think about what you’re putting where. How could it NOT matter?

Now that I’m married, I care less about offending delicate male sensibilities. The next time the older and less inhibited me is asked, I plan to tell it like it is: “Guess what, guys. It matters. A lot — but not for the reason you might think. Welcome to the world of worrying about your body parts. At least you’ve only got one to stress over and yours is rarely a topic of casual conversation, unlike the size of my boobs or ass might be. So get over it!”

It’s not that I feel bigger is better. That notion was likely brought to us by the same misinformed and insecure guys whose penile repertoire consists mainly of pornos and other dudes at the urinal.

Really, the sexual performance we require of our composite parts doesn’t vary much from person to person (unless you count that guy in Sick who pounded a nail through his penis!). So I guess my answer to that age-old question is yes, I notice… but no, I wouldn’t like you more with a few extra inches. Instead of measuring our physical worth in inches or cup sizes, isn’t it better to focus on what really makes a good fit – the meeting of hearts and minds? Once you get that, all sizes matter and any is right.

Next time you’re asked if size matters, be frank even if you risk putting your foot (or six inches!) in your mouth. Find a way to talk with your male friends and lovers about what really matters. If you’re not seeing eye-to-eye, maybe it’s not a good fit.



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