My Husband Vs. My Boyfriend

December 31st, 2012

Tootzypop Classics: We’re saying goodbye to 2012 and ushering in 2013 with a celebration of some of the year’s most read posts. This post originally ran on January 31, 2012. We’ll be back with new, original posts on Monday, January 7. Enjoy!

I have a husband. His name is Kevin. He’s great. I also have a boyfriend. His name is James. He’s great. James is my boyfriend at work. As I progress in my work life I have found the idea of a work boyfriend to be indispensable to my happiness.

A list of my ideal work boyfriend traits:

1. has his own office – You can vent and cry privately.

2. happily married – This relationship is about making your work life more pleasant, NOT exposing you to icky gossip.

3. available for lunch at least every other week, but not every day (See aforementioned gossip warning.)

4. pays for lunch most times (he IS the man)

5. trustworthy – When you complain it goes no farther. (See aforementioned venting remark.)

6. must not want to spend time outside of work, but must be available to talk when you are having a crisis – I’ve called James from out of town at least three times in the last ten years, hysterical, and each time he has taken the call, listened, and then talked me down from the ceiling. If it’s not office hours don’t call — that’s Kevin’s job.

7. no gifts, no flirting

8. treats you with equal trust and confidence

9. good sense of humor

10. must be interested in hearing about your family drama (James is more interested than Kevin, which works pretty well.)

Essentially, the ideal work boyfriend has the same qualities as a husband. I spend about as much time at work as I do awake at home and feel lucky to have two great men in my life. If James and I were single we probably would date, but it would not be as satisfying as our current relationship.

Do you have a work boyfriend/girlfriend? Well, congrats! If not, see if you can identify a candidate and cultivate them the way you would a mate. It could well turn out to be one of your strongest relationships. And, in case you are interested, Kevin has a work wife. Her name is Cathy.





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